Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Let me just cut to the chase, I am getting a divorce. A 25 year old, single mother of a 2 year old. It has only been a few months since the actual separation, but it has been over for a long time. I feel ruined. A friend of mine put my feelings into one word. "Unimpressed." It seems pretty accurate. I could add a few more things, like emotionally blocked and completely turned off. I have attempted to talk to a few guys since the split and for whatever reason they are under the impression that I am going to "chase" them when they decide not to talk to me anymore. NEWS FLASH MOTHERFUCKERS: I am not that easy. I may need to get laid, but I sure as shit don't need to make you dinner to get it. I don't make things awkward even when they are. So when you aren't cool enough to still hang out when we have a weird "friends with benefits" moment, then it is your fucking loss. I stress myself out so much trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and I can't quite put my finger on it, but it may have something to do with the higher value I put on my heart. I won't settle on some loser who who can't take a joke. You have a job? Super. You live on your own? Great. You have the personality of wet cardboard and you want me to do what? Get the fuck out of here. I don't have time to play games. I have a 2 year old little girl who already thinks a dad is someone who visits on weekends, plays for a few hours and leaves. We are important. We are more important than my needs, that is for sure.