Don't you dare forget the sun, Love.

As a woman, I am guilty of putting everyone ahead of myself.  It is in our nature, unless we luck out and grow up to be a narcissistic bitch with no moral compass.  Sometimes I wish. 

I find myself envious....of everything/everyone.  I want love so badly.  I mean real, honest love.  I am most certainly looking to the wrong person for this, but I have no clue what I am doing.  Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day...this has to be true because I googled it.  I don't have to ask what I am doing wrong, I already know.  But why can't I stop?  That is the real mystery.  I am not unlovable.  I am beautiful, independent, strong and getting more and more awesome with age.  I am not even that dramatic unless I feel like I have honestly been wronged.  Where in the fucking world is a man/woman who would be proud to love me just as hard as I tend to love.  I don't have many things of value monetarily, but I have a huge heart.  Too big for someone like me.  I finally found a way to love myself and I need that returned.

Maybe one day when I am 60 and still alone...because I hate cats...I can open up this blog and find the answers I have been searching for all along.

If you're out there, here I am.  Unless you are creepy...then you should look anywhere else, but here.  You probably want that guy -------------> over there -------------->

Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-fall-in-love-every-day#sthash.Or7m7aCK.dpuf

Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-fall-in-love-every-day#sthash.Or7m7aCK.dpuf

Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-fall-in-love-every-day#sthash.Or7m7aCK.dpuf

Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-fall-in-love-every-day#sthash.Or7m7aCK.dpuf

Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-fall-in-love-every-day#sthash.Or7m7aCK.dpuf

Studies show that about 30,000 people fall in love each day - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/how-many-people-fall-in-love-every-day#sthash.Or7m7aCK.dpuf

Bright lights and Silver linings.

Today has been an emotional roller coaster.  Few will understand because only a few friends actually read this.  The rest of you are strangers who know only what I have told you and that I never commit to writing when I say I will.  My blog has more views than I realized, and I thank you.

So here is the latest epiphany.  I am too big for Greenville.  Not big like fat, though...big, as in I don't belong here.  My heart is somewhere else.  I couldn't say where, but this isn't it.  I want to fall in love with life and remember what it is like not to be so grouchy.  Too many people as of late have told me that I am not the same person I was a few months ago.  I'm not as "perky," or "chipper," at work.  Probably because I am so fed up with people treating other people like garbage.  WAKE UP!!!  We all work at the same place, and trust me when I say that just because you are the head of your department doesn't make you superior to ANYONE outside of the work place.  You may be "important" to an extent at work, but outside of those walls, you aren't shit. 

Anywho, I have big plans.  Plans that will help me grow and build my relationships with people that I give a fuck about.  My heart is much too large, but I have come to terms with the fact that no matter what my brain tells me to do my heart is the boss.  I want to travel, go to school, fall in love, build a strong foundation so that when Ryleigh is old enough to start her journey, she will have a strong place to start from.  There is more to this world, than working at a dead end job and living paycheck to paycheck.  If you want to stop and smell the roses, the best garden to start in is the one you grew yourself.